Throats raw from screaming and I haven't said a word.

Awkwardly nervous? more like ridiculously nervous, pathetically nervous, and all for nothing.

Well, I guess now for a different nothing . I've been kidding myself, thinking that it won't matter to me. I've also been kidding myself in thinking that I was ready for this. Why is everyone saying two years like it's infinity? Unprepared is my cliche middle name.

I just hope I come out looking okay.

( it seems that this is always about ' I '; bitch, bitch, bitch -- disgust !)

Scared of the imminent, and praying for change.

88 days